Parenting comes with its own set of challenges and dilemmas. One such dilemma is knowing when to set boundaries with your children while still fostering a strong and loving relationship. In this article, we delve into a recent Reddit post where a mother grapples with the decision to stop cuddling with her daughter!
Keep reading to find out why!..
The Mother’s Perspective – Explaining the Situation
The 37-year-old mother took to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A*****e’ thread to share her recent parenting conundrum. She begins by describing her daughter’s behavior and her concerns about their cuddling routine.
The mother expresses worry that her daughter, despite being small for her age, might be too old for the cuddling sessions they share. She questions whether this physical affection might be inappropriate or even harmful to her daughter’s development.
“She loves to hop in my or my [husband‘s] lap and cuddle with us on the couch or in a chair,” she continued, adding that she had started thinking that perhaps her daughter was getting “too old” for that type of cuddling and that maybe she was even hurting her daughter by letting her continue doing so.
The day prior to the woman’s Reddit post, her 11-year-old daughter attempted to climb onto her lap for a cuddle. “I told her she was too old for that and asked her to get off me,” the woman recounted. This led to her daughter becoming visibly upset, promptly dismounting, and retreating to her room, slamming the door shut.
Since then, there has been a noticeable shift in their household dynamics. The young girl no longer seeks affection from her mother, resulting in palpable tension. “She barely speaks to me unless necessary, and last night, when I hugged her goodnight, she didn’t reciprocate the gesture,” the woman elaborated
“I’m grappling with a lot of guilt here. Clearly, I’ve hurt her feelings, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe she’s outgrown sitting on my lap,” she admitted, seeking validation from fellow Redditors on whether she was in the wrong in this situation.
Internet Reaction
The response from Reddit users was overwhelmingly critical of the mother’s actions. Many condemned her for potentially damaging her relationship with her daughter and missing out on precious bonding moments.
“She’s not going to want to cuddle you much longer. You may have a year left. And you’re throwing that time away instead of cherishing it,” one person said.
Commenters highlighted the fleeting nature of childhood and emphasized the importance of cherishing moments of affection with one’s children. They argued that redirecting behavior should be done with care and sensitivity, preserving the emotional connection.
“It’s important to guide children toward age-appropriate behaviors and communicate when certain actions are no longer comfortable for you. This is a natural part of their growth and development. However, it’s crucial to redirect them gently towards behaviors that are suitable. Children need to be taught these boundaries as they may not inherently know them. Additionally, it’s vital to reassure them that while your relationship dynamics may shift, your love for them remains unwavering.
“If you abruptly tell a child to ‘Get off’ without any prior explanation, it’s understandable why they would interpret it as rejection. This can lead to confusion regarding what forms of physical affection are acceptable and what might result in negative consequences,” the commenter explained.
Another user shared their experience, stating, “I work at a nursing home, and I’ve witnessed a beautiful bond between a 78-year-old man and his 99-year-old mother who has dementia. Despite their age difference, they find comfort in holding each other, and it brings them both immense joy. This serves as a poignant reminder that the need for love and affection from parents transcends age.”
What would you have done if you were the mother in this situation? Do you have any advice for her? Let us know in the comments!
