Some stories have a way of touching your heart, and in a world that often feels grim, serious, or dull, a humorous anecdote is always a welcome delight.
Perhaps you’ve come across this tale before, but if not, get ready for a hearty chuckle. And if it’s a reunion with an old favorite, I’m confident it’ll tickle your funny bone once more.
This story possesses all the elements of an entertaining narrative – drama, vengeance, and an unexpected twist…
It all begins with a husband’s letter, a request for divorce. Yet, it’s the witty and brilliant response from his wife that will have you in stitches…
My Dearest Wife,
I pen this letter to inform you of my irrevocable decision to part ways with you for eternity. I’ve upheld my end of the bargain as a faithful husband for seven long years, and there’s naught to show for my devotion. The last fortnight, I must confess, has been nothing short of a living nightmare.
Imagine my chagrin when your employer informed me that you had tendered your resignation today – the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Just last week, I returned home sporting a fresh haircut, prepared your most cherished dish, and even donned a pristine pair of silk boxers. Alas, you devoured your meal in a mere two minutes, then retreated to slumber after indulging in your daily dose of soap operas. You’ve ceased professing your affection, refrained from physical intimacy, and severed the very bonds that unite us as man and wife. It matters not whether you’ve strayed into the arms of another or your love has waned; the conclusion remains the same. I’m departing.
Farewell, my Ex-Wife.
P.S. Please abstain from futile attempts to locate me. Your SISTER and I are embarking on a new life together in the wilds of West Virginia! Wishing you a splendid existence!
My Beloved Ex-Husband,
Few things have brought me as much joy as receiving your epistle. Indeed, we have been bound in matrimony for seven long years, though your claim of being a “good man” elicits quite the contrary sentiment.
I confess to indulging in my soap operas as a means to drown out your ceaseless grumbling and complaints. Alas, it appears this tactic has proven ineffective.
Regarding your recent haircut, I did take notice, though my immediate thought was, “You resemble a woman!” In deference to my mother’s teachings – “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all” – I chose silence.
As for the culinary delight you prepared, it seems you’ve confused me with MY SISTER, as I abandoned pork a full seven years past.
Now, concerning those new silk boxers, my aversion stemmed from the conspicuous $49.99 price tag that clung to them. My fervent hope was that this coincided with my sister’s sudden need for a $50 loan that very morning.
In the midst of all these tribulations, my love for you endured, and I harbored hope that we might salvage our union. Hence, upon winning a grand sum of 10 million dollars in the lottery, I promptly resigned from my employment and procured two tickets to Jamaica for us both. Yet, upon my return home, you had vanished into thin air. Fate, it seems, had its own plans. I trust you find the fulfilling life you’ve long sought. I should inform you that the letter you dispatched ensures you shall not lay claim to a single cent of my newfound fortune. Be well.
Yours, Ex-Wife, Enriched and Liberated!
If this tale tickled your funny bone, feel free to share it and spread the laughter!