Inaction leads to discontent. If you have been sitting on the fence in your relationship hoping, it will get better, knowing it won’t then you need to do something. Most people put off breaking up because it is hard, and it hurts. But if you’re unhappy, unsatisfied, and frustrated with your relationship, then the pain of breaking up is worth it.
Every man and woman who knows how it feels to end a relationship understands this situation of inaction where neither partner is will take the steps’ breakup. Coasting and hoping it will get better might seem easier, but it is not a good idea. If a man knows the relationship is over and doesn’t do anything to end it is a man taking the cowardly route, it is not fair to either of you. And if you let it fester long enough, you may have actually forgotten what it feels like to be thriving and content. Lining in a floundering relationship becomes the norm. It is not the greatest existence. Here’s what you need to do.
Make sure to find a neutral location where both of you have the freedom and comfort to openly and freely express your feeling, a park is an excellent choice. You want to be able to talk freely. Your house or hers is not an option risking your safety, or hers is never a good idea.
Out of respect for her, your relationship, and what you shared, let her know first. She needs to be the first to know. Your relationship is sacred to women, and it is the last gallant thing you can do for her. It is ok to talk to your buddies about issues and problems in the relationship to seek advice, but the decision to break up with her is between the two of you. She truly needs to be the first to know.
Pick a day of the week that will allow her the time to deal with it properly. If she is the kind of woman who needs to keep her mind occupied, then do it on a Monday, so she can get lost in her work. If she falls apart and needs more time then do it on a Friday, so she can process it away from work and lean on friends, tissue, and the weekend reprieve to begin her recovery. Then stick to the decision!
Don’t break up via text
The way you break up is a big issue and as a man, you should handle it face to face. Instinctually, you might want to take the easy way out, man up, and have the decency to say it directly to her. Doing it this way gives both of you the chance to ask and answer questions and end it all with dignity. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin took getaway weekends to end it a marriage you can manage a last walk in the park. The fact that you’re reading breakup advice for relationships shows you’re a bigger man than the guy who dials and dumps.
She knows it too
Deep down in her heart, she knows it is over, too. She has probably been feeling it too. Tell her why you are not suited for each other and have examples ready to discuss if need be. It is ok for her to talk it through with you so you can help her see why you got here in the first place.
Explain don’t defend
You have the right to be in a great relationship. Don’t go in defending your decision to break up, merely explain why you feel the relationship is over very clearly and succinctly sprinkled with your feeling so regret and sorrow. Communicating that the decision to break up is hard for you too, is a good idea, don’t promise to keep in touch if you have no intention to and keep it simple and end it gently and as smoothly as possible. Cut the ties and get it over with, make sure to be clear, so you don’t drag the break-up out over time.
Make sure you stick to your decision to end the relationship. If she cries and gets angry, that is ok, both are natural human responses to grieving. Remember there is a big reason you have come to the conclusion to end the relationship, don’t make it worse by going back and forth when you know there is no hope for the two of you. Be prepared to answer her denials and comebacks, it is good to think things through and have a clear understanding of why it is over.
Tears are ok
No matter how you slice it, there will be tears. The end of a relationship will bring up intense emotions, and it is natural for crying to be part of the process. Be understanding, but don’t let her draw you back into the relationship. Be sure to make the time frame for a specific amount of time. Having plans with family or friends is a great way to ensure you don’t drag it out. Also, you’re going to need some support too.
Ending things will not be fun or easy, destroying a relationship never is. Be a man with the courage to make a decision and stick with it. It will be good for both of you. Follow your heart and be true to yourself. Some things are just not meant to be.