You are definitely not ugly, and your friends agree that you have a great personality, but it has been 5 years since your last relationship, or you’ve never been in one, and it seems like you are stuck way too long in the single ladies department. What could possibly be the problem? Here are some things you might be guilty of thinking.
“I don’t like you, back off!”
Women like the feeling of butterflies in their stomachs. So whenever someone they like shows interest, it would be easy for them to respond positively but when someone totally not their type (physically) shows up in their front door with bouquets of flowers, it is a totally different story. Let’s face it, you want to be swept away with the prince charming you’ve always been dreaming of, but there’s this guy who happens to have the courage of asking you out on a date, but you keep on putting him down. While your reason could be that he might just be wasting his time with you, believe me, he doesn’t think of it like that. Stop the stopping. Allow yourself to know him more before asking him to stop. Sometimes the best relationships happen to women being pursued by men whom they initially didn’t like in the first place.
“He must initiate”
You start to feel a bit of care and concern for him, but you don’t want to show it. “He must initiate everything”– is your mindset. Now, ladies, this doesn’t mean you allow yourself to be too easy for him, but you should stop treating each other as teens and grow up. To start with, your relationship with him is on a friendship level, whereas it is normal for you to know how he has been lately or ask anything you are comfortable with. This might be hard for a lot of women, but let’s just say, you’re returning the care and concern he constantly gives you. Although this is a case-to-case basis because some ladies tend to overdo it, balance is the key but remember that it won’t hurt to initiate once or twice.
“I just go with the flow”
This line is always on top of the charts. If you are guilty of this saying, then the ‘flow’ won’t go right with you. Women who don’t have a clear goal in their relationships will most likely attract guys who don’t have clear goals as well. During dates, it would be better to be clear with this. It will also help you sort out the ones who are serious and those who are just “going with the flow”. With big decisions such as being in a relationship, one must not just allow destiny to work. Being in a relationship is a choice in which you have to act upon and decide.
“I don’t want to assume”
He asked you out for dinner, but you don’t consider it a date. Then he gave you flowers after picking you up from work, and still, you don’t want to assume. You keep on telling yourself that everything is normal, and he’s just being extra friendly, but that phrase is your excuse for not responding to the actions he is showing. Assume interest, but handle it in a mature way. Whether you like him or not, go and break the silence (only if it has been months, and he’s not asking you yet). Ask him about his intentions and verify your assumptions. With this, he would either stay or it would drive him back (at least you know he isn’t worth it). If he can easily give you an answer and a clear goal in your relationship status, then stop the assuming and start responding. If you like him, then be clear as well. Don’t be vague about your emotions.
